Highlights
- Blue-sky thinking, straight out of the box
- Circle back around to those key learnings and takeaways
- Diversify and centralise; out-source the in-sourcing
- Go online and learn how to take things offline
- Leverage core linguistic competencies
- Discover that COB means the same as EOP, FYI EOM
About This Deal
The Deal
Office types tired of being brushed off or ignored by their superiors can managementise their verbal output in the unique vocabulary of leadership. Students will be taught how to break out of Box Land and swim on over to Creative City, mastering new paradigms of expression, formulating horizontal synergies and breaking down the pillars of normal, comprehensible syntax and meaning. A smorgasbord of globally relevant cross-platform industry-standard blue-sky content is delivered across 250 modules and designed to be punctuated by 20-minute power naps after each bite of the e-learning bagel. Learn how to deep dive, knock things out of the park and generally part the dressing gown on the hitherto impenetrable linguistics of overpaid men in ties.
The Merchant
Groupon looks to aid the formulation and pan-universal dissemination of stellar communication strategies and methodologies. Building on innovative best-practices, the company specialises in reaching out to the consumer-sphere to encourage the growth of professional skillsets on the productivity tree. Businesses and individuals are catered for with courses ranging from email formatting to the appropriate use of volume and base motivational language in meetings.
Reviews
The Learn to Speak Manager course was sufficiently encouragised by the likes of Managementationalist Weekly. The reviewers were eager to note the constructive vocabulary and vivid imagery the course allowed them to evoke when addressing the workforce, as well as the improvement in productivity it heralded.
”I was wowed by the riveted expressions on my employee’s faces as I managed to use my new-found language to provide an in-depth Q3 fiscal report covering both the top and bottom line, as well as send out a comms about demising headcount using expressive and vapid metaphorication.”
Andy Hasbeen, Managementationalist Weekly, Jul 2013
”This course gave me the tools to master metaphor, capture cliche and implement idioms. As such, I cannot recommend it highly enough. It shines the torch of meaning through the fog of language and ultimately establishes that, at the end of the day, it’s night.”
A. A. Critic, Managementationalist Weekly, Jul 2013
Specific aspects imagined 03/01/2014
Learn more about Groupon's Merchant Reviews Policy
Fine Print
Purchase: Limit 1 per employee.
Booking: Just touch base with whoever's on reception.
Restrictions: Please be aware that this thought-shower is a joke. Purchasing this deal will not affect your vocabulary, for better or worse.
Original values: Will be completely shattered.
See the rules that apply to all deals.